Close your eyes and think for a minute. What do you remember about your childhood? What's the first flash of good memories that come to mind about your childhood play?
I have so many, but most of them involve my sister and me. You know, the "trouble" we'd get into when we were bored. Walking on our own to our elementary school and playing on the empty playground. Ha! No competition for the playground rings or swings. Empty basketball courts with the echoes of the ball sounding loudly on the pavement. A sound you can't hear during recess. Handball courts with the same echoes. Going barefoot on the field grass and getting my first bee sting. Just us kids alone. No parents to help until we got home. But we were brave, we helped each other and we made it home.
I don't remember the trauma - I remember the pride of having a challenge and figuring out a solution myself. (Get home ASAP.) I feel like my parents prepared me for these challenges. They didn't hover. If we didn't have it figured out when they sent us out into the world, they trusted the world would help us figure it out. The lesson might be painful and have consequences, but it would stick!
If you want to meet 4 year old me, click over to this post with 10 more play memories.
Talking with other adults, no matter where we come from it's a universal experience to share how we got into trouble when we were little. And how we rose to the occasion in unexpected ways. A common theme is that no adults were around to help us out. That was the scary, daring, risky, adventurous part that got our adrenaline flowing. Those were the best times.
Are the best times lost on today's kids? Should we just give up now?
I don't think so. I seek out "safe" places where I can back off and let the kids be kids. Today's supervision standard is basically "As long as I can see you." So I try to physically and mentally BACK UP often -- offering my kids play opportunities and stepping away slowly as the years go by. I have a mental image of myself physically backing up, backing up, backing up -- the older they get the less they need me. Rich Louv, author of Last Child in the Woods, even referenced my strategy in his awesome blog post "Hummingbird Parents: Seven Actions Parents Can Take to Reduce Risk and Still Get Their Kids Outside." You should read it. And then read the Children and Nature Network's research on the Health Benefits to Children from Contact with the Outdoors and Nature.
The average American boy or girl spends as few as 30 minutes in unstructured outdoor play each day, and more than seven hours each day in front of an electronic screen. (Source: Health Benefits, National Wildlife Federation)
You know what I DON'T remember about my childhood? Time spent in front of a screen. I did it. It's just not memorable -- and doesn't really meet my definition of what childhood is supposed to be about. I would argue that the "average American boy or girl" will have better memories of that half hour of "unstructured outdoor play" over the 7 hours of screen time.
Kids learn about the world from being in the world.
So for this weekend's play inspiration - schedule time for your family to just "be" out in the world. Don't rush, just "be." Hey, if you've got more than 30 minutes to spare -- you're giving your kids a gift that the average American child doesn't get every day. Your kids will remember this gift and thank you for it later.
[Note from author: Thanks, Mom and Dad!]
